| Mental Health America Bell of Hope Memorial |
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In Loving Memory of
Hello, my name is Ruth and I am Mark's mother. I lost my son on 11/28/07. The grief and pain a parent suffers when they loose a child at the age of 32, or at any age, and under the circumstances surrounding his death, cannot even be put into words. A part of me died when my son died. It was a very painful, frustrating journey that I traveled with Mark as I watched him mentally deteriorate over the last 4 or 5 years of his life, and being unable to get him the help he so desperately needed. A mother should be able to fix things, or so I thought, and it tore me apart that I couldn't. It broke my heart and Mark's spirit every time he was denied services. I can't imagine that we are the only family that has suffered the same experience with the state of Massachusetts Mental Health Services. He was denied service through the Mass Dept of Mental Health as well after his second suicide attempt. Their answer was "we don't feel your condition warrants our services", not even granting him an interview before they made their decision. This was one of the most discouraging denials we had received and left both of us with such a feeling of hopeless. Something has to be done to prevent the death of many people like my son Mark. Money is wasted in so many ways in this state and within our government and it has to stop. More resources need to be directed in expanding this state's facilities and faculty and the ability for people to easily access them, to help the countless number of people who are suffering in so many ways. My family goes back for generations, working and paying taxes in this United States of America. It goes beyond saying it is deplorable that people like myself, and countless others, couldn't and can't obtain the help for their loved ones before it is or was too late. I'm not wealthy so therefore, I was unable to send Mark to any private facilities. That's a very sad fact that thousands of people have been faced with. Families, like mine, that have helped build this country and paid their taxes for countless of generations. When will this change? When will our government realize how many people, young and old, have died needlessly when many of them could have been saved??? My son was so gifted in many ways....he had an extremely high IQ, was a singer/song writer, an artist and could do anything with computers, all self taught, just to mention a few. He was, unfortunately, unable to deal with life. He lived in a tormented world within his own mind as a result of the multiple disorders he suffered from. He has left a whole in the hearts of many who loved him, in spite of the fact that he felt he was unlovable. Please,
let's find the ways so desperately needed to help others before it's
too late for them, before more
dreams
and lives go unfulfilled and the suffering continues. To
those
who have much and have not experienced mental illness within
their families
and to those who hold the power and money to do something
about this epidemic, please remember this....But for the grace
of God,
there
go I. I
am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family. I came across Mark's mother's post while searching for resources for National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day - May 8th. My heart aches for all of the parents and I am now even more committed to doing all I can to help our families find resources and services. I can't begin to understand your loss, but my prayers are with you. I think you are so courageous and strong to stand up for your son and so many others who are unjustly being turned away! Mental illness is a life treating diease and should be treated as such. I will be speaking up in my own community on this issue and my chuch will be praying over this. I hope your voice is heard all over the nation, by people who can really make a differance. God Bless. Your story about your son brings sorrow to my heart. You have experienced my greatest fear. I have a 26 year old son who has mental illness and substance abuse and he often feels hopeless. He was able to get treatment in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Massachusetts has a grand 'transformation' program and they should be shamed by this tragedy. To Mark's Mom, I still cannot believe that you're not here. You are missed very much by me and all your other friends and of course your family. I hope you're flying free now! I grieve the lost of Mark Presterone as well as countless of others who did because of hopelessness. It's even sadder that many of our American soldiers are going through this too. I will people will know that hope, peace and comfort can be found in Jesus Christ. I wish that people who suffer mentally would read Jeremiah 29:11. I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine the pain that you
are feeling, but, I want you to know that you are in my prayers. To Genny, I hope and pray your son is doing well. I was happy to hear he was getting help. You are right...The Mass Dept of Mental Health should be ashamed of themselves. Thank you for sharing. Mark's Mom, Ruth I am so sorry for all this suffering and pain you are going through. I work in Massachusetts in the mental health field and your story has touched my heart deeply. My name is Morgan Smith. Mark and I both had problems with things that we tried to change and could'nt seen to go in the right direction. I think about Mark and Ruth and miss them very much everyday. You will never meet anyone that will come close to Presterone. Ruth is also a very special woman who helped me out many times. Love you guys forever. Mark was my friend. I've had many friends in my life. In many cases these friendships are faded with time and distance, but I'm comfortable with this because I belive that people come and go from our lives for a reason. Still, through all the years I knew him, he never truely left my life. The world lost a GREAT person that day and we lost a great friend. Mark will be missed dearly. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost my beautiful nephew at 35 to suicide. He left behind a wife and two children, ages three and six. We all miss him dearly as he was one of the best people you would ever want to meet. I believe the medications the psychiatrist put him on were the direct result of his suicide because he might have left the rest of us but he absolutely doted on his children. Even when he was so depressed he could not get out of bed, he would light up when they came into the room. I am very sorry to hear about your son Marks death. Your in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.your son will be truly missed. God Bless you Ruth!! I lost my brother 7 years ago this January. You're son's story reminds me very much of my brother. A smart, talented high IQed person burdened with a mental war. I am so sorry your efforts were unanswered. I believe we only get blessed with some children for a short time, as they need to be returned to God. I am so sorry for your loss. Mark's Mom: Dear Ruth, Mark's Mom, First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you sorrow and deep sympathy. I know that Mark has been in our God's Care now. I can't imagine how difficult time it would been for you and your family. You are in my prayers and thoughts. May our Love of God will continued watching over you everyday. Please take good care of yourself. I am very sorry for your loss and the pain of all the people writing in. I am a survivor of a cousin's death and of my own attempts in my youth. I think that it gives me insight into the disease of depression. For me, depression and thoughts of suicide, anxiety and general fear of life persisted all of my life. The day I finally started on SSRI's the suicidality that I had lived with like a shadow- went away. Now, nothing's perfect. SSRIs poop out, etc. work differently for people. My reason for saying this is that it is a physical disorder that messed up my thinking. A couple of weeks on the meds and I could no longer relate to the person who I was. I am sometimes depressed- down- unhappy- annoyed- etc. But I cannot and do not reach the other place. It's biological not choice- it was almost odd in some ways. When my cousin's husband died, I wanted to stress to her that it is a physical disease- diabetes requires certain medication, and so do mental illnesses. problem is, not all work for everybody- and some wear off. it is hard to find the right amount. it is expensive, etc. But it is not and never was for me about my folks who I love and were very kind and supportive all of my life. I just want people friends and family to know that it was inside at least my brain- and was a disease of my thoughts- it and not an indication in any way at all about the people I loved- If I had one thing to suggest to folks surviving a death like this (including me, I guess) it is to LIVE! If you have always wanted to do something- well, do it!! I think somehow this is the opposite of depression and something that would be what our family member would have wanted.
It's been awhile since I've been to Mark's memorial page. Some days are more difficult than others. Today, 1/28, is 14 months since Mark left us and coming up to what would have been his 34th birthday, Feb. 3rd. I still hear Mark in my head singing "You say it's your birthday..it's my birthday too". He loved the movie "Sixteen Candles" :). It's almost unimaginable that we will be remembering a 2nd birthday without him. Myself, his brother and friends will have dinner together on his birthday. It's a difficult thing to do on an emotional level but it's also a good thing for us to do.....to celebrate his life and to know that he was loved, is still loved and not forgotten. I want to thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart, who have posted entries and shared your own pain and losses, for your caring messages and for your prayers. It touches my heart deeply. I also want to thank D, the last entry prior to mine, for sharing his/her struggles and victory with all of us! I'll pray for you, that you continue to heal and live well, as I'm sure others who read your story will also do. |
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